Awareness
“Pour up, drank, head shot, drank
Sit down, drank, stand up, drank
Pass out, drank, wake up, drank
Faded, drank, faded, drank.”-Kendrick Lamar
How many of us live our life on autopilot? *Raises hand* For many of us, our lives are dictated by routine. Wake up, go to work, eat, sleep, shit. Beyond these actions, there are even more behaviors that further deepen the experience of living on autopilot. Usually autopilot happens when we are unconsciously avoiding something. That “something” could be the fact that you hate your job or you’re in a rotten relationship. Rather than get to the root of what’s troubling you, you engage in things like sex, drinking or eating, smoking, anything to mask what is really going on, anything to feel numb.
But what is at the root of these numbing behaviors? Becoming aware is often the first step of relieving any pain. Always check in with yourself by asking questions related to your well-being. One could say, “Ok, I know that I drink because I am not where I want to be in life. Now what?” I find that the “now what” portion of life is often the toughest because it sets us off on a journey that never seems to fulfill. You get a different job, one that you thought you’d love and life still sucks. You change relationships and you still feel shitty. But why?
The truth is, that sucky job and that shitty relationship was never the REAL problem. They were only the mask of an issue much deeper; so deep that its roots were curled up inside of you tapping into the place you thought you’d never look: your soul. So much of what you are seeking stems from a deep longing within you to reconnect with that which is Divine. I don’t care how much you try to run from this and wish to believe that it’s not true. (I can just hear the avoidance) Sometimes you gotta call a spade a spade. We want to believe that there is something, anything that we can buy, earn, or feel to give us satisfaction but it’s just not true.
Connecting with the Divine is the only way out. Now, this is so “profitable” that many have come and gone and even built institutions just because “They” knew that at some point you would arrive at this awareness. However, that is not up for anyone to control but you. If you feel connected to what is Divine by attending a religious service than that is awesome but PLEASE do not be turned off by your own inner calling because you do not resonate with THAT mode of seeking. YOU must find your OWN way. A lot of the times it will be through creativity: drawing, writing, making music, being in nature(reflection/contemplation/thought) because creating is what the Divine does so this is a LANGUAGE the Divine understands. I cannot emphasize this enough. I cannot describe it in any other way. Find you way to connect. Either you find it, or you autopilot.